There Goes The Neighbourhood

[kilimesoftly]

It didn't happen overnight. These things never do. It took time to spread, to break quarantine after quarantine. There had been hopeful and optimistic news reports once the media blackout was over. The internet was buzzing with random cures and self help guides to keep yourself and your loved ones safe.

Kili, ever cheerful though he is, never bought it. It'd been hard to when you could look outside and see the neighbourhood emptying out, or when entire sections of London became deserted. It'd been harder to after his uncle and cousins brought him and his older brother along to Tesco's to loot the place for food, for supplies, for anything other, previous looters had left behind.

Six months after the first wave of infections, the world was doomed and Kili knew it. A year after and it's all become normal.

"Tell me we get to head out of Belgravia today," he whines at the kitchen table. The entire block has become home to him and his relatives, the family manor on the corner and the streets leading into it barricaded. Kili plucks at his bowstring in anticipation of a hunt. It's been two weeks since they've gone out of their personalized safe zone. He's itching.

Comments

[kilimesoftly]

There are five guards at the bridge but they don't stand a chance. Home made gas canisters render every last one of them doubled over in a burning coughing fit and the men and women that attack them are quick with the kill. No one responsible for this will come out alive.

No one.

There's not enough time for an alarm to be called either. Though Kili is their most able bowsman, there are plenty of arrows to fire down on the sentries stationed around the wall of the Captain's kingdom. Not every arrow finds it's mark but enough do and half a dozen men fall.

It's only then that panic strikes and panic, of course, turns men into cowards and beasts. There are no such thing as prisoners in the mindset of Thorin's Company.

By the time a small group of them follow Fili to the Captain's chambers, as best as he can remember the way, the one-eyed bald man is just tucking himself away, grim smile on a grim face. He doesn't even look at Fili as he stands there, head held high.

"You would have been delicious."

Merry Christmas! Thank you again for bearing with me. ;;

[filidelity]

It's with his pulse racing and his nerves taut that Fili plunges into that poorly-lit room. The others have agreed to stand guard outside and follow only if he gives the signal for backup. He has a number of reasons for his request, not all unselfish. This is something he needs to do. He wants to do for Kili what Kili would have done for him.

And whether Kili will ever tell anyone exactly what went on in here is Kili's decision alone.

The sight awaiting Fili is sickening. Outside, all over these grounds, the Captain's followers have been dying tonight while their leader had his favourite kind of fun. And maybe it was Kili again.

Teeth bared in a snarl, something hot and angry thrumming in his chest, Fili aims his gun at that bald head. "Too bad," he grinds out. The gun's muzzle dips to crotch level; Fili pulls the trigger. He raises the gun, fires another shot.

That's where he'll stop. He turns to the shadows, searching. "Kili? Kili!"

Kili knows that his brother has come back, of course, and that they're getting out of here together. Fili doesn't need to tell him.

<3 Any time

[kilimesoftly]

Just as the Captain had known all was lost, Kili had been bolstered by the sounds of men running and guns firing. At least at first. He'd not thought it was his brother in all honesty. He thought the Captain dumped him out there, tied, bound, and left him for the Infected. No, Kili's hope had been that they were being overrun by clickers. Or crazed Infected. They'd make their way down here and he'd be put out of his misery.

Small favours, considering how his body, use to this treatment, refused to black out no matter how rough it was getting.

Bleeding and covered in questionable fluids, Kili still lifts his head when he hears Fili's voice. There's no move to cover himself up this time. He's not sure he can.

"Took you long enough," Kili says in the dark. "Are-- Did you-- Is anyone else with you?" It's bad enough his brother knows. He wants to be able to face his uncle and his mother without them being aware of this.

<333

[filidelity]

There's no quip for that greeting, not today, not here. Fili drops to his knees beside Kili, shining his torch on his brother just enough to let him determine what to do first. Even so, there's a shakiness to the next breath he takes and any words snag in his throat until he forces them out.

"They're waiting outside – it's just me in here. We're going home, Kili."

He won't stare for Kili to see his horror. Carefully, he frees Kili from his bonds. When they fall away, he wants badly to pull his brother close and tell him that he's sorry, but he returns his hands to his sides. Sorry is meaningless. "Kili," he says instead, quietly, "I haven't told anyone."

There's at least one more thing to address before they can go, and it's not freeing the other captives yet. Fili hesitates, moving the torchlight to each corner of the room.

"... Do you know what they've done with your clothes?"

[kilimesoftly]

"No," Kili says as he tries to get up on all fours. He's a fighter and will remain a fighter to the end if need be. It's got to be comforting, somewhat to Fili. At least he knows his brother isn't going to just crumble on him. "But there's a wardrobe in the back. He kept some of their clothes. Just don't give me a dress," he says, a hiccup-like laugh in the back of his throat as he tries to lighten the mood.

There's a great deal in this room for Fili to be fascinated over. Gilded paintings from the Gallery hang on the walls. There are weapons everywhere. Cans of food, personal supplies perhaps, stacked behind a curtain. And just as Kili said, a wardrobe filled with all kinds of clothing. A pair of camouflage trousers and a t-shirt ought to do just fine until they can get back home.

As Fili turns back from gathering clothes, he see Kili's old roommate in the corner, still shackled, but the blood in her hair tells a story the blond can likely piece together without asking his brother. She'd had her head bashed in. Being 'fun' doesn't provide much of a safety net either, it seems.

Kili holds up a hand for Fili to take when he comes back over. He'll need help dressing. He'll need help walking. Just don't mention the amount of blood left crusted to his inner thighs.

[filidelity]

Kili is himself, remarkably, if Fili can take it all at face value. He blocks out even a speck of the thought that he might have come back to find his brother lying here like the woman who had still been alive earlier today. It seems wrong to leave her there, but they can't take a corpse with them. He covers her up with a coat found in that wardrobe before he returns to Kili's side, where he wishes he could have stayed the entire time.

The Captain's death hasn't made up for any of this. There's no real sense of satisfaction or victory or... anything, to tell the truth. Executing him was just ending his life and stopping him from repeating what he did to Kili and others before him.

Maybe Kili should have had the chance to finish him off.

Fili is gentle as he helps his brother where he's allowed, but he says little, and nothing else about Kili. It's all just a series of instructions and then they really are leaving, their pace slow, Fili's arm secured around Kili's waist. He can give his brother something to lean on as they walk. The rest of their group surrounds them like a sentient shield. There are some searching looks for Kili, but they take a backseat to cleaning up every inch of this place and getting out.

William, Fili hopes, will be coming with them. It could actually be that he owes the man his life.

[kilimesoftly]

Luckily, Kili just looks like he'd been beaten. Anyone with cracked ribs would breathe like he's breathing. Anyone with sprains would limp. He's trying not to think about what will happen when Owen insists on looking him over. He'd rather just be left alone after he showers.

Thorin pats him once on the back where there's whip marks and Kili winces. That's the end of the familial embrace. And besides, William -- who had indeed survived to be rescued -- is busy helping the rest of the Company locate the food stores.

Some are left behind to secure and test the food supply. To put those that can not go with them out of their misery. It's a difficult task left to their uncle's best friend and cousin. Kili doesn't want to think about it.

He has enough to think about getting back over the bridge with it's maze of cars. He stumbles a few times and his legs buckle just as they see their front gate.

"Run interference," he requests of his brother, handing onto Fili with the last of his strength. "I don't want mum to worry."

[filidelity]

Steadying Kili, Fili manages to give him a Meaningful Look. It's too late for their mother not to worry, and they both know it. She would have been worried about them when they left on their ill-fated supply run. She would have worried when they didn't come back with the others, until she had to accept the likelihood that they would never come back. She's going to worry when she sees her youngest hurt.

"I'll try, but she's our mother, Kili."

And her worry is in her gaze and every touch as she greets them the moment they head inside. "Thank God," she says, only the slightest tremor in her voice, but she doesn't do what she would have done if Kili were in better shape. There's no embrace for now; she contents herself with brushing her son's wild curls out of his eyes and cupping his cheek.

There isn't much that Fili can do.

Their mother, still practical, maintains enough composure to see to it that first things come first. Kili will get a shower and a change of clothes and a meal waiting for him afterwards. And he'll have to sit through Owen taking a look at him.

Fili doubts that Kili really wants a hand, whether or not it's offered outright, but he stays close.

Happy New Year my darling!

[kilimesoftly]

"Honestly! I was roughed up a bit. Trying to get me to give up our location..." Lies. All lies. And yet, if he doesn't lie, he'll have nothing to say. And Kili, with nothing to say, is not Kili. "You should see after the rest. Some awful shit--"

"Keiran!"

"Stuff, some stuff. Sorry mum. But yeah, go tend to them I'm sure I smell bloody--"

"Keiran!"

Kili wraps his arms around her suddenly, his brows creasing his forehead as he rests his cheek to her throat. It hurts. This hurts. He lets go after just a moment and limps upstairs. He nearly has to crawl the final two steps.

When he does make it to the bathroom, Kili can't strip fast enough or shut the door on his brother fast enough. He needs a good cry. He needs to be alone for just a bit more, Fili. Just let him scrub the Captain off. It's all he has left now.

<333 for good measure.

[filidelity]

Of course Kili wants some privacy. Of course he doesn't want anyone hovering, let alone helping him wash. Fili stands outside the door to the bathroom like an awkwardly placed piece of furniture until he turns around and lets himself slide down the wall to sit on the floor. He listens to the sounds of the shower running and water swirling down the drain. He listens for anything out of place.

His gun is still tucked into its holster and the holster is still strapped to him. He separates them, running his fingers along the weapon's smooth edges. Two bullets, and then it was over. Maybe that's the problem. Kili was stuck with the Captain's company for days.

Their mother comes upstairs and finds Fili with his back against the wall, knees pulled up to his chest, arms and chin on top of them. She leans down to stroke his hair, reminding him to see Owen after Kili for his nose. He must have looked at her strangely, because her hand moves across his hair once more and she gives him a long look in turn.

Once she's left again, his face crumples. Some kind of harsh gasp tries to make it past his lips, but he presses them together tightly, teeth locked behind them, and shuts his eyes, head tilted back to touch the wall.

[kilimesoftly]

It takes long enough for Kili to leave the bathroom that the fog has petered away by the time he opens the door. He's wearing Thorin's dressing gown since it'd been hanging in there. The clothes he'd worn from that place had been binned. The dirt and blood and God knows what else that had been on him long since swirled down the drain.

The Captain is physically gone and yet, Kili had been afraid to open the door in case he was there. They'd stepped over the man's dead body hours ago. He knows he's dead and yet he's still beyond relieved to see that the only person there is Fili.

Though tumbling into kind arms is about all he wants to do, Kili restrains himself. "Don't suppose I can get out of a visit to the doctor?" he asks, and glances at the stairs again. "Likely not. Lying in wait for me, I'd imagine. Uncle's or mum's orders." Yes, he's going to pretend that he's fine.

He is fine. If he tells himself that enough, it will be so.

"Well wish me luck."

Fili shouldn't be there. Looking at his brother is somewhat difficult anyway. All Kili sees is shame in his brother's eyes, shame that isn't there, just like the Captain isn't there. Kili limps into the bedroom he and Fili still share -- space is tight -- but doesn't shut the door this time, not all the way. He does, however, need to change. He lingers over clothing and, stupidly, wonders if he'll be punished for it.

[filidelity]

That took a while, long enough to get worrying, despite nothing but normal shower sounds carrying through the wall. But considering what Kili had to wash off, Fili is just relieved to see him emerge from the bathroom at all.

He stands, only to watch Kili disappear into their room. Fili doesn't follow, doesn't do anything that might risk being construed as treating his brother like he's made of glass. That's not what he wants, no matter how strong the urge to protect Kili is.

Ultimately, it's Kili who got them out; they'd probably still be trapped in their respective storage rooms and waiting otherwise.

So maybe that's the best way to look at the entire ordeal. They did what they had to in order to survive and get home. They had no other options.

While Fili takes the shower he rather desperately needs, too, Owen comes straight to their bedroom to tend to Kili. It's easier that way, better than telling the boy to move around before they know the extent of his injuries. He announces his arrival with a louder knock than others might and lets himself in. There won't be any getting out of this check-up.

"Take a seat on the bed, lad, over there. Let's get a look at you."

[kilimesoftly]

Having rehersed this all in his head while he'd been in the shower, Kili manages to make it through most of the examination. Owen is a stubborn old coot, the sort that believe in traditional medicine...the sort that had their minds set about certain things and wouldn't go looking for any damage that Kili didn't point out.

He doesn't mind taking the dressing gown off to the waist. He lets the old doctor dab lash marks with disinfectant and then with a soothing cream made from the aloe plants he kept along his window sills.

It's even pretty easy to strip completely. He's been hurt, yes, bruised, certainly, but he's better off than a great deal of the people they'd found today.

Kili laughs a bit when Owen pokes around his ribs and can't find broken ribs. And he laughs again when the old man mentions that he doesn't seem to be able to sit up straight.

"Probably strains. Talked too much a few days ago and the bastard had me kneel for fifteen hours straight as punishment." It's a lie. The look in Owen's eyes says he knows it's a lie too. Kili's never been good at it. And right now, he's not being too good at grinning either. "Hey...Owen, sorry. I'm just...tired. Think I could have a lie down? I know Mum and Thorin probably want to talk with me but I'm really exhausted and--"

Owen doesn't need him to say anything past. "Aye, of course."

Kili lays face down on his bed, frowning slightly into his pillow. The moment he closes his eyes, he feels a phantom hand in his hair, stroking it lightly. It's enough to leave him sick to his stomach.

[filidelity]

Fili's shower doesn't stretch into infinity. He'd rather not use up all their hot water, so he's out before Owen and Kili are done. He won't disturb them, can't decide whether he has the right to be there or shouldn't go in until it's over. Eventually, he picks wandering through the house instead to see where an extra hand might be needed.

Both hands are put to work in some small way – his mother sends him back upstairs with Kili's late supper. By then, Owen has left and the bedroom door is shut.

Fili pushes it open, steps inside, and nudges it closed again with his foot. "Kili?"

-- Could be sleeping. They need it.

Beside Kili's bed in a few strides, Fili sets the meal down. "I hope you're hungry for the usual," he continues, "Mum expects all of this gone." Normally, they know, that wouldn't be a challenge or a feat. But today--

Fili had struggled with his own portion hours ago, and not just because his stomach felt shrunken and then uncomfortably full after days of refusing what they served at the Captain's as much as he could get away with it. Somehow he'd managed to force it down and quiet his thoughts. If he hadn't, he wouldn't have been much help tonight.

What about Kili, then?

[kilimesoftly]

There's no doubt at all that there's damage, but most of it is mental and Kili hasn't eaten in days. Well no, that's true. He'd eaten...someone. That stew-- You'd think he'd never be able to stomach anything again, but after a moment of registering that it's Fili's voice he hears and not a spectre's, he lifts his head from the pillow to eye their mother's usual efforts at a well balanced meal...

Sometimes she did better than others. Crops and farm animals made a difference, though they were still eating mostly canned goods.

"Mushy peas?" he asks, hopefully, and there they all, a big glob of them. He wolfs them down as if he doesn't need to breathe while doing it, licking a bit that falls onto his hand while he still grasps the spoon.

Exquisite though the pain the Captain put him through may be, he's still Keiran Durin. These things can't be changed, even if the going will be rough for a little while (as evidenced by the simple fact that he's more lounging than sitting.

"Good, got your nose properly bandaged," he says, mouth full. Give him some time for his smile to reach his eyes again, Fili, but your brother is resilient.

[filidelity]

Fili's gaze rests on his brother while he eats, or inhales his food like he would any other day, and if he could, Fili would pull Kili into his arms in a burst of sheer thankful relief. That might seem out of nowhere, though, at least right at this moment, on top of spilling Kili's food all over the bed. Instead of that, Fili smiles at Kili, a bit like it's Christmas and the world is back to what it used to be.

Kili is resilient. He's still himself; they have another reminder here. He's not some delicate thing that needs to be sheltered from harm, not somehow lost to them. Fili can't help but think that he may have been projecting his guilt, his own fears onto his brother, who deserves far more credit. Kili will be in pain for a while longer, no doubt, but time will take care of that.

(Those are convincing arguments, if not to the accusing voice that continues to hound Fili.)

"Let's hope it doesn't heal crooked," he replies, gingerly touching the tip of his nose, and tries to do something for Kili's smile. "One flaw in this face is going to stand out."

[kilimesoftly]

The moment Fili lightens up, some of the weight Kili had been feeling lifts too. He'd been worried, honestly, that what he had been forced to witness might have changed how Fili looks at him forever. He's beyond relieved to see that it has not. There's only so much that Kili can take. Being pitied is not and never will be one of them.

Besides, Fili's the one with any outward sign of being hurt. Kili can cover his up in clothing that he still isn't putting on. The dressing gown is good enough. Anything more could lead to punishment--

Yes, he's aware of how irrational that is. It doesn't make it better.

"I've actually said that for years, Philip," he says, using his brother's full name to denote amusement. "With a face like that, having a perfect nose as really not done you any favours. If it does heal crooked, at least it'll match the rest."

[filidelity]

Kili's response is exactly what Fili had hoped it would be. In turn, he puts on his most authentic look of 'What have you been smoking, Kili?' and aims a pillow at his brother's head. Or past.

"You're lucky that I'm a forgiving soul, Keiran," he retorts. "We both know who got all the looks in the family." (Unfortunately, few can dispute that it really does lean towards Kili.)

It's so normal, this moment, and that's a relief, too. Fili embraces it, wants it to drive off everything that happened for good. Beating himself up over it, waiting for a couple more accusations to join his own, won't do anything for any of them.

Not getting up to move to his own bed yet, Fili nods at Kili's current get-up. "Isn't that Thorin's?" And while Thorin won't miss it today, there are clean clothes for Kili to wear.

[kilimesoftly]

"It is Thorin's but he's not using it." Kili is maybe a little too short with that but he clears his throat instead and holds out his tray for his brother to return to their mother. Getting over the clothing issue is going to take some time but... He probably should at least attempt it.

He's not sure how the Captain haunts him more dead than he had alive, than he had when he was living that hell, but the moments of silence seem to make him loom out of the shadows. Kili finds himself shutting his eyes tightly before he gets out of bed to the wardrobe he shared with his brother.

"But you're right. Thorin doesn't need my scabs all over his dressing gown. Show mum I'm a good boy and I'll figure out something to wear. " It might take more time than that but he thinks Fili has seen him naked enough for all of their lifetimes combined.

[filidelity]

Thorin, they know, probably couldn't care less about scabs or giving up his dressing gown if Kili needs it. But what should have been a harmless question apparently wasn't. Kili's tone and the look on his face bring concern back onto Fili's, regardless of how quickly the moment passes, and another question tumbles through Fili's mind. Is Kili hurt worse than he's admitting?

He holds that question in and holds himself back from heading closer. He'll leave Kili to it – Kili can get dressed on his own.

The empty tray gripped in both hands, Fili turns to the door, but not without a remark over his shoulder and another smile tacked on the end. "Better hurry up, or I'll come back to you wearing your birthday suit." As if he hasn't already done that today. He lifts the tray slightly. "Mum will be proud. If we had dessert, you'd have earned it."

And Kili has the room to himself. For about ten minutes, that is.

[kilimesoftly]

Ten minutes is just enough time to stand in front of the wardrobe and stare at it. Kili tells himself he's being utterly stupid. He'd spent only a week or so with the Captain. How could that be enough time to terrorize him about the thought of wearing clothing? He'd readily put on Fili's shirt a few days before his rescue, hadn't he? Now, he's not sure why his hands linger on the sleeves of shirts and yet he can't bring himself to remove it from the rack.

Fili will find him in intense concentration, yelling internally at himself to man up, to get over it. He had his cry. He had his examination. The wounds would heal, internally and externally. They managed to get a lot of untainted food as well, enough to sustain their sudden population growth, enough to allow them to eat well for awhile and not have to stretch what they grew themselves so drastically.

The squeak of the door, of Fili pushing it open, isn't enough to get Kili's attention. If he can't pull himself together soon, he thinks to himself, there's no point in being here. He won't be allowed out on missions... That would just kill him to be forced inside the walls forever.

[filidelity]

Normally, ten minutes would have been plenty of time with time to spare. But when Fili comes back, it's to a Kili who hasn't gotten dressed, although he isn't standing around with nothing on, either. No, he's still in Thorin's dressing gown, in front of the wardrobe as though choosing one outfit before going to bed is something he's doing for the first time. As though it takes more than picking out a shirt and a pair of trousers and throwing them on.

Maybe it would. (Today must have been the first day that Kili even had a full set of clothes back on at all.)

"Kili...?"

Fili steps closer after all, peering at the assortment hanging there for his brother. "Can't make up your mind?" He points out a couple of options, including a shirt on his side of the wardrobe. "What about those? Or you could borrow something of mine, if you're looking to share your scabs around."

Sharing clothes, willingly or otherwise, wasn't uncommon in the past – that is, until Fili's trousers tended to show off Kili's ankles. The length does let them breathe.

[kilimesoftly]

Though his fingernails were shorn, Kili could feel them sink into the heavy wood as he tries not to utterly freak out. Fili probably wouldn't know how to deal with that sort of complete mental breakdown and honestly? He's not sure how to come back from it either. Once he lets go, really lets go, he doesn't think he'll be able to pick up the pieces.

For some reason, Fili's clothes seem a lot safer than his own and he nods, grabbing a red football shirt from his brother's side of the closet and a pair of cargo shorts. Length wouldn't matter but he'd be covered up.

"I was just thinking how I'd get mum to let me at her aprons next," he replies, forcing himself to step into those shorts. His teeth actually grit in the process. "Everyone ought to have a little piece of me by the end of the week, if you're lucky."

Fili's gentle smile, his willingness to be so understanding, gets him an armful of younger brother a moment later.

"I'm okay," he says, likely for his own benefit. "Everything's okay. Better than okay. Just don't let go for a minute or two, all right?"

[filidelity]

'Okay' he can buy today. But 'better than okay'?

There must be things about the past week that he doesn't know, things that Kili might never tell him. What he witnessed only briefly shook him up more than going through it for days did to Kili – that's Fili's hope, but his conviction wavers, now that he has his brother in his arms, asking him something that he shouldn't need to ask.

Fili doesn't let go, nor does he say anything about Kili's claims. He stands there, holding onto Kili, and searches for the right answer to give out loud.

"Kili," he says when the minute or two has ticked away. "You're right." His fingers tighten in the back of Kili's shirt, but he smiles at his brother. "We're home, thanks to you. We've got supplies and a few new hands around." Not all of them will want to go on future supply runs, but the food and getting out of there should do a lot for morale.

In that sense, everything may be better than okay. It's better than they could have expected, going in.

[kilimesoftly]

"You're the hero," Kili whispered against the curve of the blond's ear. "When I grown up, I want to be just like you."

Other than a few nightmares that left him screaming in the dead of night -- a bad sign when quiet tended to be the name of the game these days -- and forcefully crawling into Fili's bed enough that he stopped even getting into his own anymore, Kili was doing well over the next few days.

Supplies might be good, mountains of toilet paper, shampoo, and food tested to be safe, but that hardly meant the weekly patrol couldn't go out. They'd never even known the Captain was a mile away from their home. Thorin wanted to make sure he found any other hostile bands before they themselves were discovered.

That meant separating Kili from his brother, who had had been following around a bit like a puppy, one eye always on his older brother.

He immediately volunteered to go with, but Thorin shot him down.

"Next time, Kieran."